My Early Year in Review

Phoenix Eve Aspacio -

Theres still 3 months left for 2024. What else could go wrong in the remaining 3 months? I don't know what I’m doing right now. I just feel like this year is really not for me. I’ve been trying to cope up, but it’s really had to parent yourself.

So here that:

  • still cant recover that my father died last year
  • had hard time accepting my new role as the new lead to my family
  • had to become a father to my half-brother when my father died
  • had to support and think about my lola with dementia, whom my father has left
  • got diagnosed with pre-diabetes along side another condition that I chose not to disclose (took medication for 6 month; you’ll know if you know it)
  • got existential crisis on the verge to depression, and lost interest in the things i used to care about
  • recently resigned from my job as IT Manager
  • felt cheated on, broken up from a 4 year relationship
  • had spending and travel spree on my all 6 credit cards, even maxed out some to hopefully clear my mind of everything
  • paid credit card debts first at the expense of some other family priorities, but still left with around 150k amount due out of almost 400k
  • got into a disagreement with some family members over my sudden hiatus on financial support
  • burned out, malala.
  • finally gave up on the facade and acknowledged that i’m not straight

I had some success in managing some of the issues I mentioned above, but for the most part i think i’m a failure.

I feel like I’m living my life as a 42 year old person——I’m still 24.

Can I just be 24 for a while?

On the upside:

  • i’ve met new friends, whom i think will still be around after ?? decades
  • realized the importance of mental health and the lessons of financial literacy 
  • got a new crush and dated several times, from san jose :) hi crush
  • i think i can get things sorted out in my life before i turn 25 this upcoming march
  • i noticed my crush is going to church often. i got inspired to go to church every sunday to medidate and just disconnect from about everything in my mind. thanks sa inspiration Lord!
  • had salary increase, i’m earning 6 figures every month, but still balancing it with my bills and personal needs
  • had some old and new friends whom i shared my problems with and I couldn’t even understand how understanding they are. thanks guys.
  • gotten back to writing in this blog, after like many years of hiatus.
  • have gotten plenty of validations from people i don’t usually hear it from, and it means a lot to me :)

Life has been hard but that’s Life as we know it, Charlie Brown. :)

Tara coffee?

~ Phoenix